FATHER'S DAY

I don't really want to post about this day. Maybe one day it will get easier. I am just praying for those days when I can think about all the memories and good times that we shared without remembering the sadness as well. (Remember this is my blog to vent as I wish so no judgements please.) I can't go to church on Father's Day. I can't sit there and sing about Heaven or hear Fathers being praised when I don't have mine to hug and love on and say thank you for being a great Daddy. I try to find comfort in resting in my Heavenly Father's arms, but sometimes the loneliness overtakes me and I just want to feel really feel a man's arms around me. Well, ofcourse God is all powerful and loving and sent me an earthly angel. Mr James Jordan, a man that goes to my church, came by my office on Friday. He said I had been on his heart and mind and he just had to come tell me. He said I know this weekend is probably going to be hard for you...we were both teary eyed at this point. He said you know my girls and how I've gotten to see them grow up and get married and have children and I know your Dad won't get to see those things. But I know that if he were here, he would say that he's proud of you. Well, then I really started crying more bc on my birthday card in 06 my dad, of little words on cards, wrote I'm proud of you. Love, Dad. I just found the card not long ago. Anyways Mr James and I talked a few more minutes and he hugged me and said goodbye. So to him, thank you! Thank you, thank you. You will never know how much that truly meant to me!

Thank you to Brandy and Justin for letting me use your pool for the day. It was a blessing bigger than I can say. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I love you both!
After I left the pool, I rode to the cemetery. I wanted to see if his headstone was up yet and it's not. I cried. (It should be up in the next two weeks according to my brother) So I rode to the police station. Dad had his own special parking spot. His post with ribbons still remain. I cried some more. I ended up having to work on a friend who hurt his back and was flying out early the next morning. I drove home afterwards thinking, please God just let this day be over. My best friend Brooke called right on cue and we had a good chat. I love you! Thanks to all the other friends who text or messaged me with love and prayers. I love you all!

Thank you God for allowing me to have a great Daddy for 26 years! I am thankful for each and every moment. I love you, Daddy!

OUR ANGELS

So with the passing of Heather's mom and realizing she was about to go through everything we had just gone through, my heart has been broken. I have cried so many tears over JoKaron. I loved her flair. She was a larger than life kinda person. You always saw her with some kind of sparkle whether in her hair, fingernails, eyeshadow, or just in her eyes. She was a great Christian. Among other things, when she would get a massage we would talk about God. I can hear her yelling from inside my room, "I'm ready". Normally I would be frustrated at my clients for being loud, but I would just say...that's JoKaron for ya and smile. I loved the "Mimi" that she was to my nieces. They loved her. The girls would talk about what they did at Mimi's house. I'm thankful her schedule with work and teaching was flexible enough to where she could keep them some and spend time with them. A blessing, no doubt. JoKaron always made the best birthday cakes for Heather...only homemade cream cheese icing would do. There are so many other stories I could share. But for now, I will just say that she was an amazing woman, whom I loved and will be missed!

Everytime I begin to miss my dad, something happens to make me miss him even more. It wasn't until someone said something to me that I thought about it differently. You see, on Wednesday am I woke up crying for my dad. I haven't done that in a long time! I prayed and pushed the tears away to get on with my day. Then on my way to work, on every road that I turned, I saw a police car. It made me cry even more. I wrote on my facebook status about seeing all the police cars and said it was God's sense of humor...to make me face something I knew would upset me. Then a dear friend said, "that's your dad's way of showing you he's watching out for you." I'm choosing to believe she's right. I'm choosing to believe that God gives us those times to bring remind our brain of all the wonderful memories we had together. I'm choosing to believe that somehow they get to see us in the happy moments. I know there is no sadness in Heaven so thankfully my dad won't have to see me mess up any! I'm just so thankful for him and the love he gave me. He is my angel now watching over me way better than he ever could have down here! I love you, Daddy.

PLEASE PRAY!!

THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN OUR FAMILY RIGHT NOW.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY SISTER IN LAW, HEATHER, AND THE FAMILY IN THE DEATH OF HER MOTHER YESTERDAY.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY COUSIN RAY AND LACY. LACY IS 5 MONTHS PREGNANT AND WILL BE ON BEDREST FOR A WHILE.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY GRANDPARENTS WHO ARE BOTH HAVING SOME HEART ISSUES RIGHT NOW.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY FRIEND BRANDY WHO IS HAVING SOME MEDICAL ISSUES.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY AUNT CLAIR'S HEALING FROM BREAST CANCER.
PLEASE PRAY FOR A COUPLE OF MY FRIEND'S WHO ARE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT.

THERE IS SO MUCH SADNESS IN THIS WORLD. I AM THANKFUL THAT THIS IS NOT MY HOME! I KNOW GOD CAN DO MIRACULOUS THINGS AND THAT HIS WILL IS PERFECT. I KNOW HIS STRENGTH IS PERFECT WHEN ALL HOPE IS GONE AND THAT HE CAN HELP US TO CARRY ON. I AM JUST BEGGING MY FAITHFUL BLOG READERS TO PLEASE PRAY EARNESTLY FOR THESE SITUATIONS. IF YOU HAVE ANY NEEDS, FEEL FREE TO COMMENT AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU. THANKS!

MR & MRS MCCRARY 5-22 & 5-23-09

Brandy and Justin at the Rehearsal Dinner. It rained on us during the rehearsal, but they didn't let it phase them.

The three Musketeers for the weekend. Rozie, Kristy, and me

Nadia and Max. I am so thankful to be friends with Nadia. She's my friend that had to move to Savannah and the reason why I have my new roommate, Cristina!

Noctourne Plantation in Quitman. The setup was so pretty.

Jake, Tara, Joey, and Trista at dinner

Me and my cousins. I love them!

me, Emily Tillman, Emily Copeland, and Kristy

Emily and Garrett...so cute!

on the way home

Sam and Kristy

The flower girl...so precious

Here comes the bride

releasing butterflies in memory of her mom

the prayer

the kiss

The newlyweds

Cousin Ray and Lacy

I love my family! It was neat that so many of us were at an event together.

FOR WHITNEY

Love you!

Their first dance

sweet

Brandy and her Daddy broke it down. You know the youtube video where the couple starts off slow dancing and then breaks into a choreographed routine...this was them! So cute!

Janae, me, and Kristy I love love this pic of us!!!

Love You B!