MY HEART IS FULL

This weekend, I went to hear a woman speak by the name of Lysa Terkeurst. She is the President of the Proverbs 31 Ministries. My Bible study group did one of her studies called "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God". I think I have blogged about it before. Well, it was as amazing as I thought it would be! I knew that if God could use her to jump out of a page of a book like she did, there was no telling what He would say to me if I heard her in person. She was a blessing. I had a different meeting today so I was unable to attend today's session. However, last night God spoke through her. She is a very down to earth, humble, and eloquent speaker. She talked about her past last night and about how God is using her today because of it! There's so much that I could focus on from her talk last night, but I think I'll hit the point that most hit home. (I'm sure I will post more later!) She talked about wanting her daddy to notice her and love her. With such a heavy heart, she described her great desire for her as a daughter to be loved by her father. I quickly thought of my dad. Today is 9 months since he's been gone. So you can imagine what kind of day I have tried not to have. (Yes, I do try to not wallow in my tears!) I cried last night when Lysa was talking. I cried for her that she ever had to go through that and I cried thanking God that I never did. My daddy was amazing. Yes, he had his flaws, but I know with all that I am that he truly loved me. I am so thankful to have had 26 wonderful years with my dad. I want you all to know that! Lysa told me that she had seen my blog from one of our mutual friends. I told her the title and she said, Oh yes...it's about your journey as you deal with the grief of losing your father. I was a little amazed that this woman who is married with 5 children and speaks all over the country and has written so many books had read my blog. Even more so, a lightbulb went off in my head. This is my journey. Who knows what God is doing in me because of this. One day I hope to have a new blog with an all new title that will be filled with no tears.(Yes, I know it's a dumb thought to say no tears since clearly I still live on earth where there's plenty of pain and sorrow.) I do pray that one day I will have a peace about my dad being gone. It is my faith that keeps me going. It is my faith that will one day cleanse me and make me well! (Lysa told the story of the lepers and all 10 of them being cleansed but only the one who came back to praise Jesus was cleansed and made well.) That is my prayer. One day my faith will be so strong that God will be able to say "Your faith has made you well." Until that day, I am going to continue loving and serving God the best I can. I am going to be a better Christian. That is not a resolution, it is truth. Please pray for me to continue to heal and to be ready for whatever God has for me.
Me and Lysa. (Yes I know I am a bumb in my scrubs, but I wanted to go meet the girls for a quick dinner beforehand and worked right up until time to go.)

Ok, really this is funny. She was sitting autographing books and saw my scrub monogram and said "I have a knot in my neck" I promise I asked her permission before I put my hands on her. Look she's even smiling while I work on her.

These are the ladies that I went to dinner with beforehand. I thought our whole Bible study group was coming, but we had a good time regardless. Rebecca, me, Wendy, and Erin.