TODAY

I don't wanna post today. I have had a bad day. Gloomy Gloria is here today and I'm sure you don't wanna hear her talk. I will say that part of it is just when I decide to try to focus on the "victories" (from my cousin Kate's blog) instead of all the bad things, I get bombarded. Now, I know how that works for Christians. Just when you are the strongest in your walk with Christ, a curveball comes flying out you at 100 miles per hour. Now, I understand that Satan and his demons will try everything to get you to "give up" on God. But that's not supposed to be how it is when you are grieving. I am supposed to get better with time. Each day is supposed to be better not worse. The quicksand is supposed to give way a little as I take a step towards healing. But not today! Sadness just kept flying on my plate. Well, I'm here to tell Satan that I am not going to give up on God. God is the only way I get out of bed each day. So stinking leave me alone Satan!!! Isaiah 40:29 says, "He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength." So I am going to rely on God's strength. I am going to allow Him to fight my battle. Please don't comment and say the verse about Him not giving us more than we can handle. I just read a quote by Mother Teresa that says,"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." That's how I feel today. I'm confused about who God thinks I am because I am sick of being sad. I want to look at a picture of my dad and not sob! I want to continue my life as he would want me to do. I just can't fathom the milestones without him. I know I need to let God be my daddy, but knowing it in my head and feeling that in my heart is not working out right now. Sorry this is all over the place. I am all over the place.

I will say thank you to Brooke and JoKaron for calling me today and loving on me.