A whole lotta love...

 I spent the Sunday before Valentine's Day pretty upset. On Saturday, leaving the women's retreat at church, I said out loud and on Facebook that 'God is enough" Coincidence that I spend the next day wailing my eyes out about missing my Dad and wanting my Prince Charming...I think not.  2-21-12Side note: I do believe God is enough. I've just spent the last couple of weeks trying to figure out how to make that truly a reality in my life.  I crave that physical affection and protection and love from a man and the desire to be married and have children.  I know in my head that God will fulfill His promises to me in His timing and they will be just right for me...I just don't know how to tell my heart to chill out and be satisfied with the only one who can truly satisfy.
PS-Thanks to all the family and friends who have supported me in this new journey and who have loved me my whole life too!
 Cupid had to mail her presents this year-that was different.  I wrapped the presents in tissue paper before putting them in the mailing box. Then my sweet sister in law sent me the picture of the girls with their gifts.  Heart shaped chalk boards, skittles, love socks, and the book "Under the same moon" that I recorded my voice reading it to them.  It took a few tries to read those words to my sweet girls without losing a few tears. Love You!!!
 I love surprises!  I always have.  Being single kinda limits opportunities for surprises.  However, my wonderful cousin surprised me on Valentine's Day with this!  I'm so thankful for our friendship and the ability to help each other out during this love/hate relationship time called the single life.

Love getting the Steel's magazine in the mail.  Makes me feel like I get to go to all the fun events in Valdosta :) Besides the fact that I love getting anything in the mail that isn't a bill.  I miss my family and friends in Valdosta, but I do not miss the way I felt pressured to be a certain type person while living there.

Weight Loss Catch Up:

(actually took this pic on 1-23-12, but I like it)

2/14/12 lost 2 lbs for a total loss of 24lbs (scary thing weighing myself on Valentine's Day-could've sent me in a tail spin for carbs, but I did ok.) I'm able to wear some jeans that I haven't been able to wear without suffocating myself and my jackets are loose too :)
2/21/12 lost 2 lbs for a total loss of 26lbs!!!  It's crazy how much easier it is to eat healthier in a big city.  Every grocery store has an organic section and there's all kinds of foods marked gluten free all over the store.  I'm by no means eating straight gluten free, but I am trying to when I buy packaged foods.  All those excuses I've used over the years about the cost of eating healthier-I've realized it was never really about the money. It was about the convenience of eating bad stuff.  It's fast and that means more time to do other stuff, right? Well, I'm worth more than a little convenience. I'm thankful for the life God gave me and it's about time I started truly taking care of it. I will now get off my soap box and return you to your regularly scheduled programming. hehe
PS-Aunt Susie-I can't give up my poppyseed chicken and Raeanna loves it too.  We eat it by itself-no rice and I'd only figured out these modifications- whole wheat Ritz and greek yogurt instead of sour cream.

Also, a little shout out to my new baby cousin "Sam".  What a cutie!  Congrats to Kate and Chuck~!!!

Just another week in the life...

2-4-12 Love it that Serenity Massage Therapy got nominated for Best place to get a massage in the Best of South Georgia contest again this year!  Hopefully, everyone got out and voted for us/them to get the W!  If not, it was a delight to be nominated and well, we/they know who's the best!

2-5-12 I made these thanks to Pinterest and a friend for finishing the recipe for me.  It's zucchini, a little EVOO, fresh basil, baby tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese.  I think it needed a little more cheese and salt n pepper, but the roomie and I enjoyed them.  I'm trying to get them hang of eating better for life.
2-6-12 Just a little pic I found to send to Lacy while Rigsby is still in the hospital in Macon.  I am so incredibly amazed and proud of how well Ray & Lacy are dealing with all of this.  Their strength inspires me!  I love being able to read the caring bridge posts.  They make me feel like I'm not quite so far away.  I can't wait to see her when I go to Valdosta in May.

Love that Natalie Stovall and her band did an acoustic cover of Adele's song "Someone like you"

There's a new show on the Style Network called "The Amanda's".  It's my new love!  Amanda is an organizational expert and she lives in Birmingham, AL.  Yes, it's a reality show, but she has some really great ideas and concepts on how to keep your life organized.  Something, I definitely struggle with.  I posted a link of one of my favorite episodes so far.  To set it up for you...they are trying to get a costume designer's house organized.  She basically goes through things, sorts them, and then has the throw away, donate, and keep piles.  The client was having a cow about some fabrics that his grandmother or mother had given him.  He stated earlier that he didn't need them, but he was just holding onto them.  She says one of the best things I needed to'll hear it in the clip, but essentially saying it's not about the stuff.  It's about the memories.  Memories can't be taken away.  I needed to hear that.  I beat myself up sometimes when I get caught up in why didn't I save that something of Dad's. Or I look back at old photos and think oh I wish I'd taken a picture of so in so doing that.  Although pics are great and I'll never give up my love for them, it's about the time with those people and the memories that I have that will last forever.
Watch me!

Feb1,7,8 Went out with some girls from work.  First night to Calhoun's (steakhouse) after work for dinner and hang time.  They were doing trivia so we joined in.  Some of the hardest questions ever...these people play for real!  The 7th we all got together at Ashley's house and grilled out.  The weather had been great that day so it wasn't too chilly, but we had the fire pit going just as well.  It's good to be able to get with some coworkers and vent about stupid stuff.  I got a lot of good perspective that night.  Thursday night, Christy and I went to Suzy Wong's.  Seriously, I think they must put some drug in their food because I'm an addict. :)

Official weigh in day............

I lost 2lbs!  Down 22lbs in a month! If I keep this rate going I'll be at my goal weight in no time.  Weighing myself weekly has kept me accountable.  I know things are going to fluctuate weekly like water and such, but it just gives me perspective and the drive!  My clothes are fitting a little bit better too.  It was funny...Raeanna asked me if I've had to go out and buy new clothes.  I told her I was a pro at this.  Yoyo weight gain and loss that is.  I've treated my body horribly since I was a sophomore in high school.  I think I've even gotten to the point of giving up and giving in to the thoughts that people only like/love me when I'm thin.  I know in reality, everyone just wants me to be healthy.  I've just given in so long to the idea that if I'll just be this or do this, that I'll have a,b,c,and d on my list.  I know the core of the issue is that I never saw myself as a beloved child of God.  I accepted His position as ruler and planner and leader and protector and all powerful and all knowing, but never accepted his role as the lover of my soul. I never fully gave into the whole notion that He is loving, He is good, He wants the best for me, and He loves me no matter what.  So that's what I'm choosing to focus on now.

2-10-12 I switched shifts with one of the other Therapists to accommodate a Women's retreat at church.  I figured a trip to Starbucks was deserved for working early on a Friday am.  Nothing says love at 7:30 in the am like a white mocha :)

The retreat at church was called Momentum. The speaker was Lisa Harper.  check her out  She has a wonderful story.  God definitely used her to speak to me.
 Love the thought of snow coming!

 Saturday am headed to the retreat at church and got to see this pretty sight.
The retreat was over around 3pm.  The sun had been out for a while, even though it was still pretty cold.  I saw something hanging from my car.  Upon closer inspection, it was an icicle :)

I almost forgot the reason I was waiting to publish this post.
 "Surviving church as a single" One of my friends at church had this on her Facebook wall.  I laughed so hard when I read it.  I couldn't get over how much of the article I could relate made me feel better to know it happens to other singles. lol

Baby Milestone...

Well, I'm not running yet, but I have been faithful to my SouthBeach.  Raeanna even just made pancakes for dinner and I passed them up.  I lost 4 lbs last week to make it a total of 20lbs!!!!!!!!!!  Just thought I'd keep filling y'all in since it will take some of you longer than others to realize my changes. :)
103 days until I'm back in GA and I've got something to prove! I'm ready to be happy with myself!

Please pray for Rigsby...

Rigsby's surgery is scheduled for today, Feb 6th.  Please pray for healing for Rigsby.  Please pray specifically for the Drs and their skills and that her problem won't be more involved than they expected.  You can visit her caring bridge page here

My house...

Don't read this if you don't want to hear a momentary rant...

I feel like my house may be the death of me!  (Yes, I know there's a lot worse things going on in others' lives, this is just my drama and my blog to vent.)  Who knew that something I was so proud of, something I loved so much, would be the very thing that is causing me the most stress in my new life.  I know this too shall pass, but I really need it to pass quickly because I need to be done with this.  Basically, my old roommate moved out at the end of December. (I'll spare all the drama with that bc I could strangle her, but I love her family too much.)  She cut the power off to the house before it could be cleaned even though I was explicit about it in the contract.  So now, after it's been thoroughly cleaned, there is still a foul smell coming from somewhere.  I don't know if it was something that she left in the fridge or if there is a dead animal in my house somewhere or what it is.  I thought the whole purpose of using a rental company was so I didn't have to worry about things that went on with my house...guess that's just after they get a renter and start making money! Ok, so maybe they are doing things for me that I don't know about or just not in the time frame I'd like.   Thankfully I do have wonderful family that have volunteered to help.  My mom even lovingly planted some new flowers in my front beds to add a little curb appeal.  Thanks again for that!  Then there's the lovely City of Valdosta water department.  I had the water temporarily turned on so that the maids could come in and clean the house.  I explained that over the phone and the woman (yes I know I should have gotten her name) said it would be no problem to turn the water on and we even discussed when it would be cut off.  I got a bill for trash pickup, which I didn't use, and the water is still on.  I called and after 3 messages got to talk with a lady who said she'd be happy to check into for you think she's called me back? nope.  PS  they only waive the trash pickup/new account fee for realtors who have multiple properties.  Hmmm.  I will say GA Power has been the easiest to deal with!  Also, paying for something that I'm not using and have no intentions of ever using again is painful...check that off my list of things I won't ever volunteer to be again.  Yes, I'd sell it if I could.  It's just that the market is bad in Valdosta and there have been a couple of foreclosures in my neighborhood.  Guess it's just gonna be my cross to bear for right now.  I'd just sure like to be putting all that money in savings for a place of my own in Nashville when that time comes.  But yes, I KNOW how fortunate and blessed I am to have such an amazing, loving, giving cousin that allows me to live in her home. Hopefully I'll be able to look back on this post one day and laugh at myself for ever not trusting in this part of God's plan.