I don't really want to post about this day. Maybe one day it will get easier. I am just praying for those days when I can think about all the memories and good times that we shared without remembering the sadness as well. (Remember this is my blog to vent as I wish so no judgements please.) I can't go to church on Father's Day. I can't sit there and sing about Heaven or hear Fathers being praised when I don't have mine to hug and love on and say thank you for being a great Daddy. I try to find comfort in resting in my Heavenly Father's arms, but sometimes the loneliness overtakes me and I just want to feel really feel a man's arms around me. Well, ofcourse God is all powerful and loving and sent me an earthly angel. Mr James Jordan, a man that goes to my church, came by my office on Friday. He said I had been on his heart and mind and he just had to come tell me. He said I know this weekend is probably going to be hard for you...we were both teary eyed at this point. He said you know my girls and how I've gotten to see them grow up and get married and have children and I know your Dad won't get to see those things. But I know that if he were here, he would say that he's proud of you. Well, then I really started crying more bc on my birthday card in 06 my dad, of little words on cards, wrote I'm proud of you. Love, Dad. I just found the card not long ago. Anyways Mr James and I talked a few more minutes and he hugged me and said goodbye. So to him, thank you! Thank you, thank you. You will never know how much that truly meant to me!
Thank you to Brandy and Justin for letting me use your pool for the day. It was a blessing bigger than I can say. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I love you both!
After I left the pool, I rode to the cemetery. I wanted to see if his headstone was up yet and it's not. I cried. (It should be up in the next two weeks according to my brother) So I rode to the police station. Dad had his own special parking spot. His post with ribbons still remain. I cried some more. I ended up having to work on a friend who hurt his back and was flying out early the next morning. I drove home afterwards thinking, please God just let this day be over. My best friend Brooke called right on cue and we had a good chat. I love you! Thanks to all the other friends who text or messaged me with love and prayers. I love you all!
Thank you God for allowing me to have a great Daddy for 26 years! I am thankful for each and every moment. I love you, Daddy!