Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have u... in my heart.

I saw this poem and thought it was fitting for today. I know my Dad is in Heaven and happier than ever. I just still miss him terribly. My heart aches for him somedays worse than others. He gave the best hugs...ones that you knew you were loved, ones that you'd feel even when his arms had let go. I think that's one of the things that's so hard about allowing God to fill that void in my life...I long to feel his hug and the ridiculously silly way it made me feel like nothing terrible would ever happen. There are days when I feel so inadequate. I want to call him and say what do I do about this knowing he would always have the "right" answer. He and my mom did so much for me and my brother. He was my superman. Even if he didn't have the answer or ability for whatever the issue was, he always would find a way to figure it all out(or so it seemed). I remember he used to joke about retiring from the police department and them hiring him back as a consultant for all the knowledge he had in his brain. I always felt so safe and loved. I still do...thankfully God has blessed me with so many family and friends to fill in the gaps.

I prayed today and thanked God for the 26 years that I did get to spend with him. I had a conversation with a guy that lost his dad when he was only 9. He only has two memories of his dad. My heart broke for him. However, it also left me feeling incredibly blessed to have the memories, the pictures, the things about me that are so undeniably from him, the lessons that he taught me, and the unconditional love he showed.

I thought I'd get a little nostalgic with the pictures today. My earliest memories of me with my dad are at the beach. We went to Daytona Beach for vacation every year. We would play at the pool and beach all day and eat at the same places each time. I still remember his favorite cookie was oatmeal raisin because after we would eat a huge fresh seafood meal, we'd go for a walk to a bakery to get dessert. My mom didn't swim after having a near drowning accident when she was younger so he was the one that would be in the water with us.

I mean isn't that sweet!!

He's probably up there saying...are you really posting that picture of me?

Even when I was younger, I wanted to be just like my dad!

another precious moment

As long as I can remember, I can picture him in the kitchen!

Ok so it was the 80's! I promise to try to never take another day for granted!
I know I've told y'all about Dad working our school dances and events. This was at Chris' senior prom with Heather, his now wife. I remember thinking I was so thankful we could take this picture. He was always watching over his family.

This is probably where I get my superman/hero thoughts about him. He was a motorcycle cop before Chris and I were born. Yes, that's a Harley Davidson and yes this is probably why I loved watching the tv show "Chips" growing up.

I love you Daddy and always will!!!

1 comment:

Hannah Hoffmann said...

A very sweet post. I hope you're having a good day!