I Don't Want Crumbs...

2-9-11 This week has been an interesting one from the get go. God is still working in me about this whole "Prince" situation. I know I have to die daily to my self and not put my desires in front of what He has for me in the right now. I think it's just hard for me figure out how to deal with the emotional side of my desires. I don't know how to love or care for people without giving them my whole heart. (That's one question I'd love to know the answer.) However, I am so incredibly grateful that God is working in my life and that it's evident. Phil 1:6 says, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
The last 5 days of my Bible Study focused in on the story of Leah, Rachel, and Jacob. You can read Genesis 29 and 30 for the whole story. The snyopsis is that Jacob loved Rachel and wanted to marry her. He asked her father for permission. The father told Jacob he had to work for him for 7 years to marry Rachel. It says Rachel was very beautiful and Leah her sister was not. The father pulled a bait and switch and Jacob ended up marrying Leah. Jacob loved Rachel so much that he ended up working another 7 years for the father so he could actually marry her. Leah wanted desperately for Jacob to love her that she kept bearing children for him hoping for a crumb of love to fall her way. She started out having the first one and hoping that would equal love. With her son, Levi, she drops her standards and simply hopes for Jacob to be attached to her. With her son Zebulon, she only hoped he would treat her with honor. Oh how many times I have been Leah and accepted less than God's best! Then you look at Rachel who had mutual love with Jacob. In modern day terms, she's pretty and has her man, what's her problem? She couldn't bear children. She became jealous of her sister. So even when you think "she's got it all" remember there's probably more to the story. Eventually after lots of craziness, God allows Rachel to have children. Even after she has the beauty, the boy, and the babies, she still isn't satisfied and goes after the household gods. They both weren't completely satisfied with what they had. Only God can truly satisfy! I want to get to the point where I am so content with my relationship with God that everyone else just seems like bonus! So that's where I am and that's what I'm striving for.

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