I'm not going to apologize for my feelings because they do exist and they are what they are. However, I will apologize for not being more grateful. Last night at Bible study that was the chapter we covered in our book, "Looking for God" by Nancy Ortberg. I wanted to include some excerpts from the chapter that I highlighted while I was reading it.
"The power of gratitude is breathtaking and centering. It is along the lines of nuclear power. It makes our lives richer and fuller and freer. And it is a direct link to the goodness of God, which is an unending source of power and hope and faith."
" Without a doubt, the problem of pain makes it really difficult to feel gratitude sometimes. The problem of pain always insists on the question, Where is God?" "What about the problem of goodness? What about all the magnificent ordinary and extraordinary things that are a part of each day? That question insists on the exclamation, There is God!" -It goes on to talk about nature and how God created so much beauty that we take for granted. I started crying about here and didn't stop til I got through the chapter.
"Gratitude is a powerful force when I experience it in my own life, but perhaps the best testament to this incredible power occurs when someone who is facing deep difficulties expresses an authentic and profound gratitude" - She relates the story of a 14 year old girl who had to have her leg amputated. Upon meeting the girl, she said, "Look what I have left". She was excited that the doctors were able to leave enough of her leg so she could get a prosthetic. I thought about my uncle. I will always remember how he had a graphiti prosthetic that he would wear to the beach. That I know of he's never tried to hide that he's a double amputee. In fact, now he celebrates it. (By the way I think about Uncle Scott often when I am running and his amazing physical abilities!)
I am going to try to be more grateful. I am going to focus on the wonderful 26 years I had with my dad. I am going to think about all the great people God has blessed me with to help me get through this time. I am going to try to remember that God is in control-He knew I would have a breakdown this weekend and He knew I would be sorry for not be more grateful today. He's already seen everything that is happening in my life if only I could just trust Him more! (I think I'm preaching to the choir on that one.)
Here's some great verses she included in the chapter:
Hebrews 12:28-Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God.
James 1 :17-every good gift in our lives has its source in God.
She even talks about where in Luke Jesus heals the 10 lepers and only one comes back to fall on his face and thank Him.
I want to be a person who thanks Him for the small and big things and learns to trust Him in all the inbetween! That's also my prayer for you!