The questions How are you doing? and Are you Okay? seem to be the worst questions Ive ever faced.(when in reality I am sure I've had tougher questions come my way.) They are such small questions but can lead to a variety of answers from the insignificant of good(which is a lie) to the most honest I've been able to give which is I'm having a bad day. I wonder if when Jesus was on the cross and He asked His Father to "take this cup from me" that He was thinking He was having a bad day. I know people love me and want to display that love, but arent quite sure how. However sometimes the answer I really want to give is How the crap would you be if your father just died. See that's the thing with grief. It throws you in so many directions, you hardly ever know which way is up. Plus if you've never experienced grief/loss before, you have no idea. So I'll explain to you How I'm Doing.
Please continue to love me and read this without judgement. I am just trying to survive. I long to get to the point where I can breathe without having to tell myself to and where I can "serve the Lord with gladness" again. Please pray that for me.