My heart is so full right now, I can barely see the screen through my tears. My dear friend, Allison invited me to her house tonight. She was having her teenage girls Sunday School class over for dinner. She read out of Philippians the "recipe" (as she called it) for peace.
Philippians 4:4-7 reads: Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, that passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ.
She broke it all down to say the "recipe" for peace is 1. rejoice 2. be gentle 3. don't worry 4. pray 5.be thankful (forgive me Allison if any of this isnt exactly as you said)
She didn't know this but right after dinner my phone rang. It was a stupid telemarketer at 8pm! She told me my phone was vibrating. I quickly hang up and realized I had two missed calls. One from my mom and one from my grandmother. My grandmother's call was one of the most precious ones I will never forget. It was simple and basic telling me that she loved me and we would talk soon. I love her so much and it was so sweet and encouraging that she called. She doesnt have the internet. She doesnt know how I've been feeling. She just called. I cried in Allison's kitchen and composed myself to go in the living room to hear her talk. All the answers are in the Bible. I just haven't paid attention like I should. So here goes:
I am rejoicing that my dad is with my Heavenly Father. I rejoice that he is no longer in any pain or having to deal with any of the crap this world dealt him daily. The gentle one I am not sure about. My Bible defines it as reasonable, charitable, and fair minded. The worry, well that's an issue. She also read in Matthew about how we are not to worry about tomorrow b/c today has it's own issues and that even the birds don't worry about where their food will come from. Basically my thinking ahead to the events like my birthday and Christmas and dad's birthday will only keep me in a constant state of turmoil. Plus, God loves His children even more than the birds so don't I trust Him enough to take care of me? Pray. I do pray. Sometimes all I can say is help, but tonight...I am praying God's word. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God please strengthen me. 4:19: And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. God help me to accept your provision and power to live for you no matter what. And lastly, thanksgiving. Lord, thank you for saving me. Thank you for giving me loving, godly parents. Thank you for the time you allowed me to have with my father and for allowing him to be such a good father. Thank you for your hand on his life and mine. Thank you for continuing to surround me with loving friends and family. Lord, I do want your peace. I want your peace that goes above and beyond what we as humans understand. I want your peace that can protect my hurting heart. Please in Your will and Your time give me that peace. In Jesus precious and Holy name, Amen.
So I could never be a teacher b/c clearly my thoughts jump around too much. And I don't know if this post is even for anyone, but myself. I just couldnt not write it down. As I was driving to my office to use my computer I heard a song basically saying you have to go through the valley's to get to the mountain top with God. Lots of other little things happened today that "primed" me for tonight. I praise God for that. I praise God for all of you reading.