I never realized how sad I would be when my roommate moved out. Ofcourse it is already an emotional weekend, but I am just overcome with sadness. She has been a good friend and definitely a big comfort since April. We havent done a lot of things together lately because she was spending a lot of time with her boyfriend. Our schedules were also very different...ofcourse I dont know how many people are late to rise and late to go to bed like me anyways. I guess that's why I didnt think it would bother me so much. I think the last time I had a roommate, when I was 20, I was glad to see her go because we didnt get along at all. I just am sad. I'm sad that my house looks empty. Even if we didnt hang out together every night, I guess I just got used to the fact of knowing she was there. I'm sad that it's a new chapter in my life that once again, I had no control over, no say in and no idea what will come next. I wish her the best. I hope we continue to be friends and hang out. I'm just a little sad to see her go. An underlying fear is everyone else has someone to take care of them... a husband, a boyfriend, a dad. I'm just needing a little Heavenly intervention. If God wants me to be alone, I will accept that. I just know the desire of my heart is to be married and have children and that certainly doesnt equal being alone. oh well, i'm gonna smile and pray and wait to see what God's gonna do.

No comments: